From the desk of Rick Vigorous:
As if my malfunctioning penis weren't the source of enough frustration and despair (see: the bodies of work by John Updike and Philip Roth, respectively), the switchboard, too, has been reduced to an impotent husk of its once gallant self. On account of its defectiveness, I've received dozens of messages from callers intending to find everything from information on Podophobia to requests for Wittgenstein's lectures (neither of which we at F+V have certainly ever published).
I don't have time to deal with this problem, since I have been struggling to find appropriate material for the next "Frequent and Vigorous Publications Quarterly", so, hopefully, all the switchboard needs (and my penis for that matter - though if Dr. Jay is right this is not the solution at all) is a woman's touch.
