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To: Lenore Beadsman
From: Rex Young
Re: Literary Agent Position
“I’m your density.”
(George McFly. Back to the Future. 1985.)
Reasons why you should hire me:
1. I have an excellent sense of epigrammatic humor.
2. I can quote Back to the Future (I, II and III) better than any of the other eligible bachelors working at F+V.
3. “A flying DeLorean? What the hell is going on here?”
4. (Biff Tannen. Back to the Future II. 1989.)
5. I have never experienced impotence.
6. I have never experienced impotence.
7. I deserve to have you
8. as a co-worker.
9. I can bench-press 275 lbs
10. while writing a sonnet
11. about your wine-blue eyes.
12. I can write poetry
13. while pretending to write a job application.
14. I can write poetry
15. that secretly tells a woman
16. named Lenore
17. that I love her
18. even though I’m married
19. to a really beautiful woman—
20. a beautiful woman that doesn’t deserve
21. my secret poetry;
22. But you
23. deserve more than poetry;
24. You deserve
25. a poet
26. who will also work diligently at whatever tasks F+V Publications assigns to him.
27. I have never experienced impotence and,
28. “I want you to know that I care about you deeply.”
29. (Doc Brown. Back to the Future III. 1990.)
30. Call me.
From: Rex Young
Re: Literary Agent Position
“I’m your density.”
(George McFly. Back to the Future. 1985.)
Reasons why you should hire me:
1. I have an excellent sense of epigrammatic humor.
2. I can quote Back to the Future (I, II and III) better than any of the other eligible bachelors working at F+V.
3. “A flying DeLorean? What the hell is going on here?”
4. (Biff Tannen. Back to the Future II. 1989.)
5. I have never experienced impotence.
6. I have never experienced impotence.
7. I deserve to have you
8. as a co-worker.
9. I can bench-press 275 lbs
10. while writing a sonnet
11. about your wine-blue eyes.
12. I can write poetry
13. while pretending to write a job application.
14. I can write poetry
15. that secretly tells a woman
16. named Lenore
17. that I love her
18. even though I’m married
19. to a really beautiful woman—
20. a beautiful woman that doesn’t deserve
21. my secret poetry;
22. But you
23. deserve more than poetry;
24. You deserve
25. a poet
26. who will also work diligently at whatever tasks F+V Publications assigns to him.
27. I have never experienced impotence and,
28. “I want you to know that I care about you deeply.”
29. (Doc Brown. Back to the Future III. 1990.)
30. Call me.
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Sure, it creeps me out a little bit, but ever since I started at this firm that has sort of become the norm. They're just words on a page, right? How dangerous could they be?
