The following is the submission from the author who called and berated me earlier this morning:
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To: F + V Publications
From: JKG
Subject: A College Coming of Age Manuscript... a la The Graduate, Catcher in the Rye, and Gulliver's Travels.
Please consider the following excerpt from my novel "Unversed in University" (notice the exceptional word play):
Ben Holden paused in the empty quad to tie his left shoe - profoundly, his right shoe has never come untied in his entire life. He lit his zippo three times, allowing the previously agreed interval of three seconds to pass between each flame. A woman emerged from the shadowy umbrage.
-Lookin' for a good time?
-That depends...
-Depends on what?
-Whether you're the prostitute I arranged to meet earlier during one of my existential crises in which I realized that I was deeply undersexed and perhaps in need of human intimacy despite its status as commodity once I pay you for it.
-Huh?
-....
-Are you some kind of freak? Cuz I don't...
-What? No. Tell me something, how much would I have to pay you to love me?
-I'm leaving now.
-Immediately or metaphorically?
The woman left immediately and metaphorically.
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Look forward to hearing from you.
-JKG
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I think Rick was right in rejecting that sample. I told him so and he seemed to convulse with pleasure or maybe he has a nervous tic or something. Anyway, he promised that I'd get to review more manuscripts. I look forward to it.
-L
